The Harsh Reality of Dating Sites: Hope, Disappointment, and Profi

While Online dating promises connection, excitement, and the potential for love, for many, it delivers something different: disappointment, frustration, the feeling of not being lovable, and the gut-wrenching realisation that these platforms might care more about profits than people.

I’ve had first-hand experience with these dating sites; my first venture into the world of dating apps was in 2022. Like so many others, I had hope. And against the odds, I found someone. That relationship lasted about 18 months, proof that maybe, just maybe, these sites could work. But after being dumped by text and realising that perhaps all they were after was my money. I ventured again into the dating scene; this time, the experience was devastatingly brutal. This time, I didn’t get a single date using several sites. Not one. And yet, the costs of these platforms kept adding up. It made me feel unwanted and as if I was invisible.

Dating sites have mastered the art of selling hope. They dangle the idea of love in front of us like a carrot on a stick, convincing us that the right person is just a few swipes away if only we’re willing to pay a little extra. Boosts, premium memberships, super likes, read receipts, and every feature comes at a price, all designed to keep us engaged, spending, and searching.

But are we getting closer to love, or are we just trapped in an endless cycle of swiping, matching, and waiting? The truth is that these platforms profit most from our loneliness, our hope of companionship, and our belief that our soulmate is out there. The longer we stay single, the more we pay. And if we do find someone? Well, we leave the app, and they lose a paying customer. So, where’s the incentive for them to help us succeed?

What’s most crushing isn’t just the financial drain; it’s the emotional toll. The rejection, the ghosting, the feeling of invisibility. You put yourself out there, hoping for a connection, only to be met with silence or messages that never lead anywhere. It chips away at your confidence, making you question if love is even out there or if the game is rigged.

So, is it worth it? For some, maybe. If you’re lucky, you might find what you’re looking for. But for many, dating apps feel like a casino where the house always wins. The real question is, how much are we willing to bet before we decide to walk away?

Maybe the answer isn’t in another subscription or another profile refresh. Perhaps it’s in looking for love in the real world, in places where algorithms don’t dictate our chances.  

Because, at the end of the day, love isn’t a product to be bought. And no app should make us feel we must pay to be seen.